The 2024 Chicago Bird Debate

The debaters, clockwise from top left: Daniel Eastman, J’orge Garcia, Kelly Ballantyne, Tess Branklin, Henry Adams. Photo by Christina Harber.

words by Kris Hansen

Fictional feathers flew. Candidates preened and squawked. Voters cheered and jeered. And a good time was had by all at the first Chicago Bird Debate, held October 29 at the Peggy Notebaert Nature Center.

Five debaters represented the birds contending to be the new unofficial bird of Chicago. While six candidates were invited to the debate, in an election day scandal the Red-winged Blackbird dropped out and endorsed the Black-crowned Night Heron.

Each bird was faithfully represented by a human stan. The Black-crowned Nigh Heron was defended by Henry Adams, wildlife management coordinator at the Lincoln Park Zoo. J’orge Garcia, founder of #citybirds, represented the Belted Kingfisher. The humble pigeon found their mouthpiece in Tess Branklin of Feminist Bird Club Chicago. The Piping Plover spokeshuman, Daniel Eastman, is a Montrose Piping Plover monitor, and the incumbent Peregrine Falcon handed the reins to their press secretary Kelly Ballantyne, an illustrator and veterinary behaviorist..

The Belted Kingfisher campaign leaned into the bird’s status as the only year-round native resident in the field. Poster designed by J’orge Garcia.

Unlike human elections, the campaigning started just a week before the event, with clever social media posts and fervent emails sent to COS members. The Belted Kingfisher was declared “your favorite bird’s favorite bird,” the Black-crowned Night Heron leaned into a sense of community, and while the Pigeon claimed to be “the people’s bird,” the plover insisted they were “for the peep-lo.”

And then the representatives took the debate stage. Moderator and COS president Edward Warden stated the debaters promised to be “professional,” which would prove to be a lie before the opening statements were complete.

“The Piping Plover embodies nature, resilience and courage,” said Eastman.

Black-crowned Night Heron supporters. Photo by Kris Hansen.

“All three of you? That’s so impressive,” shot back Adams, egged on by loud heron “Qwoks” from the audience. “Our largest breeding population is here in Chicago, about 700 of us.”

Branklin didn’t even try to provide a headcount. “We’re the bird you see every day in Chicago. We stay through the winter, huddled around the Eternal Flame. We love pizza crusts just as much as humans do.”

The red(dish), white, and blue Belted Kingfisher boasts the colors of the Chicago flag and represents how our water system needs our support, said Garcia. “And, they are serially monogamous, if you are into that sort of thing.”

Chicago’s official bird, the Peregrine Falcon, also stays all winter and best represents Chicago’s skyline, argued Ballentyne. Not only are they the fastest animal in the world, they feast on one of the other candidates: “They love them some pigeons!”

A civil moment. Photo by Christina Harber.

The arguments continued: Black-crowned Night Herons are family and community oriented. Rock Pigeons—both male and female—make milk for their young. Piping Plovers prefer sandflies, and only use mustard, never ketchup. Belted Kingfishers eat invasive goldfish. Peregrine Falcons are gray and pointy, like skyscrapers.

And then the votes were cast. What was perhaps the most important election thus far this century was in the hands of 78 bird nerds. Election judges made their tallies, and while no candidate received 51 percent of the vote, it was decided no runoff would be held, as we would all be kicked out of the museum in a matter of minutes.

The results were clear. The incumbent Peregrine was utterly rejected, with just 8 percent of the vote. The Black-crowned Night Heron made a respectable run, earning over a quarter of the vote; however, the favorite in the runup to the election proved too big to fail.

The victorious party. Photo courtesy of Lin Johnston.

You new unofficial bird, Chicago, is the Piping Plover, with 45% of the vote!